12-3-12

Pictures of his new apartment. Pretty nice!

Family,

This has been a really, really tough week for me. I have been searching within myself for my testimony because Satan has been putting doubts in my head that the Book of Mormon is not true and that Joseph Smith was a false prophet. I feel kind of like Laman and Lemuel who just doubted all the time. But the good thing is that I have had such a strong testimony before going on my mission throughout high school that I still hold on and testify of the truth of this message. Satan may try to deter me, but it will not work. The main thing that I have doubted was my ability to feel the spirit and how people have told me that it is just a natural feeling within you and is not the spirit. That's what has been eating away at my mind for the past month. Even the super powerful spiritual experiences that I had growing up I have doubted. I don't know why I have been thinking these things but I have noticed it has been affecting my missionary work because I now have less of a desire to go out and work and more just to be inside and with members. I check my watch seemingly every 10 minutes saying to myself "Is it dinner time yet?" I don't know what to do. And now this morning the zone leaders took a shot at me for not studying on P-day when from 8-9 was the only time we could get a ride into Manhattan. I am still loving everyone but the work has slowed down a ton now that Elder Clare's perseverence is now gone. Our district leader is getting at us because of the low numbers and I feel like I'm doing a bad job because of that which slows down the work even more. But who knows? Maybe this is what everybody goes through at some point during their mission. But looking at amazing missionaries such as Elder Taylor and Elder Mendoza in PQ2 and the solid missionaries here, it doesn't seem like they've had their mission trials; or ones that I'm going through. Also, I am thinking about home way too much especially since I have been out for only 5 and a half months. I want to keep this whole paragraph VERY personal and want only Mom and Dad's insight and maybe some close people that you think could help. I want to become the most powerful missionary I can possibly become. But now I don't push as hard as I should and I don't feel appreciated by my missionary leaders other than Elder Clare and Elder Casper (he is now an AP). On Saturday we met an athiest who thinks religion is only a crutch for their problems. These trying times have defintiely tried my testimony. I feel like this is why the Lord has sent me here: to find myself so that I can fulfill my patriarchal blessing of being a leader in the church auxilaries and especially a righteous leader in the home.

 If you want to write to me quicker and send a letter quicker or something, my new address is:

2009 Henry #6

Wamego, KS 66547

Cody, if you don't have a super strong testimony now, then I suggest you get one. Because a mission will beat you up spiritually. But great job in the wrestling tournament! Sounds like you did a great job! I just hope you are keeping those grades up too. Oh, I just wanted to tell you that dinner last night totally reminded me of dinners at home when we'd burp and fart all the time because the little kids were doing the same thing even during our lesson. We were all laughing and I was used to it. I don't know if that's a good thing but I don't care, haha. They would also pretend they were opening a christmas present with underwear and diapers in it. I thought it was hilarious. Have you been doing that stuff with Jayson? I bet.

But that's a sweet scripture about the revelations! I bet Joseph was used to it, haha. But his teachings are awesome and what he saw probably meant he was one of God's most elect children just like Christ and Elijah and Moses and Elisha and so many others that saw marvelous visions. People today say "oh there can't be visions these days, all of that ended with the apostles and there will be no more of it. We have the bible and that's all we need." It says in second Nephi that people today would say that so why couldn't there be more revelations? 

But yeah, the weather here has been quite warm. Warmer than what you are having right now, I'm sure. One of our investigators always watches the weather channel while we're there and I can't help to peek and see it talking about all the west coast storms while the midwest is heating up and farmers are struggling. That's awesome that your new job is good. I hope you can have some good missionary moments with your new co-workers and students.

Yeah, it was fun to play some football on Thanksgiving. The turkey bowl actually made it into the local newspaper because it was such a big event. Brother Chandler is a teacher and invited the whole staff to play and a lot came out. So that's why it took up half of the field itself. That was some major recruiting for next year, haha! Our meetings have been good. Now we only have district meeting every week but zone meeting should be the following week in Salina. We are teaching some pretty good people too but they just won't commit to much. Especially coming to church. Other than Mike, Pam, and Noah Poore, the amount of people that have come to church could be counted on one hand (maybe two).      

Yep, it's already December. It was Halloween not too long ago, I thought, haha! I assume you'll put up the Chirstmas tree for family home evening tonight or something. I never knew why the ward did their Christmas party so early. Do you know? Ours is on the 14th and it is going to be tough to squeeze evreryone into that small building that we have. We are expecting close to 200 people to be there and we will literally have to use the whole building to fit everyone and feed everyone. But sounds like you had a blast and I'm excited to get all the notes from the ward members. Mom didn't tell me about Dallin and Erin. What happened? Is it something new than before or is it just that they live in an apartment in Portland. Those two kids need to learn how to be prosperous. 

You saw Tyler Winston?! Man I'd love to talk to him. Do you have his either NAU or SD address? I'm sure you could find the SD one pretty easily. I want to write to him. Man, hope he's doing good. I want to wish him a happy birthday since it's coming up in about a month. Well, I think taht's enough for one e-mail. I hope you have an AWESOME week and spread the gospel abroad like a missionary! Oh, I forgot to mention that I was looking through my scripture case and found the floded up notes that Caitlin and I made in sacrament meeting when I was in like 7th grade. It's all about spongebob quotes or dumb stuff like poop and stuff. Maybe I'll share one with you. Thanks again! Love,

Elder Sutherland

PS: "Patrick! The KEY! Dah! But how are we going to get it?"

"I know. Walk in and ask him for it."

"What are you looking at?"

"AAAAHHHHHHH [punch punch punch]"

"Patrick, that's a terrible idea."

"Sorry."